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Affairs can be extra tough to walk away from because there’s that fear that you haven’t been understanding and patient enough – you have – and that all pervasive fear that you’re going to break up with Mr Married/Attached just at that moment when he was actually going to leave his wife/girlfriend.

Think very hard about whether you want to continue living on the fringes and in the shadows of his life? Is this affair taking you towards your needs, expectations, and wishes or is this taking you in the opposite direction? Remember that occasions like birthdays, Christmas, New Years won’t have to be spent waiting for his call or snatching a moment together. Turn off your phone and let the important people know where you are so that you don’t worry. When I speak to women involved with attached men, whether they realise it or not, they are almost always in a tight routine. A confidante gives you a sanity check but also gives you a rock of support.When a guy has you and gets to keep you without really putting in much effort, your stock inevitably goes down in his mind.At this point, you may notice that he starts pulling away until he eventually pulls a swift Houdini on you, vanishing into the abyss without even uttering “abracadabra” to give you some warning!But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck. If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue.

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